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في خطاب جديد من”الزعيم”: “انا اعظم من الحجاج ” و”أعدل من العمرين”/ذاكو وينهو

خطاب الزعيم

ايتها الامة الغالية….

ايها الموطنون ايتها المواطنات

هاانا اطلع عليكم من جديد كما كنت اطلع منذ عشرات السنين…ما بدلت ولا غيرت ولم ترسم حوافر الزمن آثار الشيخوخة والوهن على جسمي وعقلي….انا هو انا وان تعددت تجلياتي واسمائي …انا جميل كالبدر رأته قرون وامم لكنه ما زال مضيئا يطرد وحشة الليل…

ذات يوم – شعبي العزيز – قررت ان أحكم وان انصب على هاماتك عرش مملكة لا تغرب شمسها , فقررت ان اركب اكتافك الوطيئة الى مبتغاى الكبير….همست في آذانك كهاتف خفي ان تتمزق لتتقطع اوصالك….واستوردت لك النماذج الجاهزة , والاحلام الوردية الخلابة…. وتعاميت عنك وتركتك تنشا وتتخلق…. في ارحام مختلفة…فكبرت ونموت في بيوت القش والصفيح …وفي ازقة الاحياء الشعبية…وفي باحات المؤسسات المدرسية…وتصاممت عن صغار المخبرين ليتركوك توجد وتتمدد عبر خلاياك الصغيرة…ثم بدا لرقيبي العتيد ان الجذوة التي تحتضنها البيوت السرية قد تصيرلهبا يخشى ان يعم وبذلك ستشكل خطرا حقيقيا على مملكتي وسلطاني….فامرتهم ان يغمزوك لتعلم اني مستيقظ…فداهموك في مراقدك , ومزقوا بعض منشوراتك…لكن حياتك ضرورية لي فابقيت فيك رمقا ولك املا….فتسارع امتدادك وترسخت قناعاتك وآمنت بالحرية والعدالة … فقررت ان ادشن فن الوقيعة بين مكوناتك وجماعاتك وهو فن واق من شغب الشعوب….فتملقتني وارشدتني الى مكامن خطر اصدقائك وكنت امهر واخلص من المخبرين السريين …فاوهنت عزائمهم واحبطت مكائدهم …ولما زعمت انك استاثرت بي جاء دورك لتتناول حصتك من الاقصاء والعقاب , فانا ملول لا اصبر طويلا على فريق واحد …فقربت من وشيت بهم…تقربت اليهم ذراعا فتقربوا الى اميالا وقصدتهم حبوا فطاروا الي….وفتحت آذاني وحقائبي فاقتصوا لانفسهم منك….انت ايها الشعب قطع شطرنج صغيرة وخفيفة اتسلى بها واعبث بها واحركها ذات اليمين وذات الشمال دون رفض او ممانعة…….

شعبي العزيز: مارست سياسة المباغتات للولاة والوزراء في اماكن عملهم وكم تلذذت بخوفهم مني وارتعاشهم امامي وانعقاد السنتهم عن الكلام في حضرتي ….فحكمتَ انني اعدل من العمرين ….ثم وظفت جناحي الاثنين ولعبت لعبة اخرى ذكية فزاوجت بين تنظيمات رومانيا الشيوعية والقتل وقطع الايدي باسم الشريعة المحمدية ….فسبحت باسمي وسميتني رحمة مهداة ومهديا كان منتظرا… ثم –شعبي العزيز – اقتنعت ان اسجنك باسم الوطنية ثم اقتلك باسم الوطنية….فاحتفل بي من رملت نساءهم ومن عذبت ابناءهم …. ….

ثم بدا لي ان الدروس السرية في خلاياك تكوين عقدي منذر بقيام امة ناضجة , مؤمنة بالقضية…مصممة على ان تكون….فاشرت على كبار الجراحين السياسيين باجراء عملية قيصرية لاخراج الاجنة قبل الاكتمال…فانشات البلديات باسم انفتاح ديمقراطي جزئ لاجس نبضك واذا انت تستجيب بسرعة , وسميتني شيخ الديمقراطيين…ولبيت ايها الشعب الابي كل مطالبي فحولت المنافسة الى مصارعة وانفقت اموالك على مواطني الفقراء لشراء ذممهم….وتسليت انا كثيرا بتلك الطفولة السياسية الساذجة….

اشركت المرأة في الحياة السياسية …وقلدتها الوظائف السامية…. وحاربت الجهل والامية…ثم نمت قرير الجفن حتى اسر الي كبير شياطيني باجراء العملية القيصرية الثانية – انا ايها الشعب العزيز – رحيم بك لا احب عمليات الاجهاض القاسية والمؤلمة فقررت الخطوة التالية : سمحت بانشاء الاحزاب السياسية , فتكاثرت كمظاهرات صينية…وخرجتَ افراخا لم يكتمل نبات ريشها فاصابتها الضربات الشمسية….. خلعت بزتي العسكرية … ولبست بذلتي المدنية…. وقدمت لك هدية …دمية خشبية , سميتها الديمقراطية … فما اروعني وما ادهاني ..ايها الشعب افتخر بي فلن ترى عبقريا يفري فريي ….انا اعظم من الحجاج بن يوسف فذلك يقطف الرؤوس و قد اينعت , اما انا فجعلتك الفاعل والمفعول به فتعجلت انت الحصاد قبل الابان وحططت القدور قبل نضج مافيها وسارعت الى اطفاء النيران وتجريف الحقول ….وحسنا فعلت وخدمت قائدك الذكي…..توهمت شعبي المغفل انك تحررت من سياسة البيوت المظلمة …والخطابات المهموسة , ومداهمات زوار الفجر….وتغنيت بالحرية وخرجت في احزابك ….غير مدرك انها آخر رصاصاتي في خاصرة الفكر والقضية…….كنت ايها الشعب قويا هائلا في تنظيماتك السرية ….كنت توظف نفسك ووسائلك كلها خدمة للفكر النامي في الظلام بواسائل بدائية ….كنت مؤمنا بما تحمل من افكاروذلك ما اقلقني كثيرا لانك كنت تعلم الناس الايمان والمبدئية , وتحبب اليهم الاخلاص والتضحية , وترسخ فيهم القناعة والترفع عن الطمع والانانية ..فتلك مذابح الرجال .. لذلك اقنعتك بثاقب عقلي ومكري ان تتخذ الفكر وسيلة …..فطمعت وهنا ايها الشعب ضعفت …ولو صبرت كان لا بد ان ينضج الفكر ويكبر ويكثر المؤمنون به وينتشر الوعي بين صفوفك وهو ما اخافه كثيرا لكنك انقذت مملكتي وقضيت على قلقي , فحلمت وانت يقظان انك ستاخذ السلطة باسم صديقتي الوفية , وعدوتك الشقية : الديمقراطية …..

ثم اطلقت مواسم الرحلات الكرنفالية , باسم تفقد احوال الرعية , وكنت اجر معي العاصمة كلها الى حيث اذهب ومن فرط محبتك لي لم تشا يوما ان تكدر صفو ضيافتي وانشراح صدري بلقاء المواطنين المؤمنين بقائدهم المنصور, فضربت الخيام التي تفوق في جمالها ونظامها قصور ارقى المدن الاوروبية …..واستقبلني المنعمون واصحاب النضارة والبجاحة واخفوا عني البؤساء الذين قصدتهم حتى لا تدمع عيناي رحمة بهم …..احضرت لي الخيل والجمال والرجال والعلماء والفقهاء والشعراء والنساء والاطفال والقرآن والفقه وطوفانا من الشعر لاستقبالي … حاصرتني القصائد العصماء طويلة وسريعة وكاملة ووافرة …..فلم يبق في لغة العرب لفظ يفيد التعظيم والتبجيل الا جادت به قرائح شعرائك علي…ولم يبق في امهات كتب الفقه على اختلاف مذاهبها حكم في تقوية وجوب طاعة السلطان الا ردده علماؤك علي…..طبلت لي وزمرت والفت والهت واقنعتني انني الحاكم المطلق الذي لا يزول ملكه …..سميتني كاتبا وشاعرا ومفكرا حتى أريتني دكاترتك ونخبك واساتذتك في التلفاز الوطني يحللون ويستنبطون ويستنطقون الابعاد الفكرية والسياسية والاقتصادية وحتى – وهذا الاهم- الظواهر البلاغية في خطابات رئيس الجمهورية والحق انها مرتجلة امام بعض سكان البادية , لم اتجاوز فيها شكرهم على حسن الضيافة والاستقبال…..

ثم هروبا من روتين انتصاراتي واخفاقاتك ايها الشعب الكريم استعدت بزتي العسكرية …في لعبة اخرى سميتها مرحلة انتقالية….

فخرجت في احتفالات عفوية , جابت كل الشوارع والمدن الداخلية …ولم تنتبه انني في اقنعتي التنكرية…وصحت كالطفل البريء عاش صاحب الطلعة البهية ..اهلا بخليفة خير البرية….

واعلم ايها الشعب الكبير انني بما وهبت لك من حريات قضيت على نضج افكارك …فالاحزاب خراب الافكار…الم تتحول الاحزاب الى اعمال مسرحية اشرفت انا على اخراجها واعطيت كتاب النصوص الاصلية ادوارا ثانوية …. ودسست فيها قطعانا من الكومبرسات فداسوا على مفكريك فصفقوا مع المهرجين ثمنا لتذكرة القطار..ما ذا حصل ايها الشعب العظيم ؟ ادخلتك في جوقتي المسرحية , ومثلت ما استحفظت من ادوار بمهارة وعبقرية …. فانا الذي قررت لك دورك معارضا او مواليا او مستقلا…تلك مسوح منتهية الصلاحية وزعتها عليك حسب هواياتي وامزجتي العصبية….فشغلتك عن الشعب , ومصالح الشعب , وابعدتك عن مبادئك النقية , بمطاردة أحلامك الغبية…ثم لعبت معي لعبتي الذكية , فالقمتك طين سفح الهزيمة وقزمتك حتى لا ينخدع الابرياء البسطاء بمعسول كلامك , قبلت بسذاجتك ان تترشح معي الى كرسي وصلت اليه على ظهردبابة لا ينحني وفرقة مدفعية…شكرا لك ايها الشعب فاستجبت وانقذتني من الاحادية , وسياسة الحزب الواحد الرجعية …اهدرت اموالك في الحملات وطفقت تلعن امير المؤمنين في مهرجاناتك الجماهيرية , وفي وسائل الاعلام الوطنية ….فاغتر الشعب وظن ان تلك تباشير فجر الحرية ….آه ايها الشعب وانا اتسلى – وتارة اشفق عليك- وزعت عليك جرعا قوية ومخزية , من ارقى مقادير الاخفاقات السياسية ك 1% و3%..و7% فتقيأ ك الشعب وآمن اني الواحد القهار…شكرا ايها الشعب لولاك كانت نجاحاتي مهزلة عبثية , فانا لااحب النجاح بنسبة 99.99% ولا حتى 60%…فتلك امارة الاستبداد والدكتاتورية….

اطلقت يديك تصول في اموال الوطن فشربت البحر واكلت الرمال والسهول باسم المشاريع الوهمية , والتعاونيات النسوية…والمنظمات غير الحكومية ..والمبادرات الانسانية….ولدواع امنية…ومهام سياسية …واشياء اخرى كثيرة لم ادر ما هيه …لأنسج منها حبال مشانقك ان سولت لك نفسك يوما ان تقول : لا , فبنيت القصور في مهامه الصحراء وملات الاودية ابلا وشاء ..وضاقت حساباتك بالاموال غير الشرعية….

شرعت لك الصحف بلا رقيب , والمواقع الالكترونية , كالحصى تقيء فيها كل وقت سخافاتك ….وانا اطرب لما يسيل عليها من ابوال اقلامك … فهي تدعو لي وتمجدني بابلغ البراهين …والحجج القوية…

اليس تاكيد المدح بما يشبه الذم من اساليب البلاغة العربية….ثم انظر ايها الشعب وتعلم من دهاء قائدك المظفر …لقد ساويت بعدلي بين كبار زعموا الشعب قرأهم مع الابجدية وصغار لم يتجاوزوا سن المراهقة السياسية , وتكافأت احزاب جبلية وأخرى مجهرية , لاتدركها العيون البشرية , فاجلستهم في ندية , آه يا لها تسلية…

واخيرا اسمع مني ايها الشعب العظيم هل تعلم ان المعارضة حقيقة هي داعمتي الاصلية ……. وهي الشهادة لي باني حامي الديمقراطية..وصاحب الشرعية الابدية…وكلما نادت ضدي سجلت لي من حيث لا تعلم نقاطا اعلوا بها الى شرفات الشهرة العالمية , في توفير حرية الراي للرعية ..فلها مني خالص الود والتحية …..اما الموالاة فما هي الا معارضة جبانة تمارس سياسة التقية……

ايها الشعب لقد جعلتهم جميعا يتصارعون بلا قضية فمتى يدركون ان الوطن هو القضية…؟؟؟؟؟

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419 رأي على “في خطاب جديد من”الزعيم”: “انا اعظم من الحجاج ” و”أعدل من العمرين”/ذاكو وينهو”

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